There are a number of steps, some legal, and some customary or cultural.
First – free to marry. You must be sure that both of you are legally free to marry.
- Generally the U.S. recognizes any marriage that is recognized in another country, and does not permit polygamy (having more than one spouse) in the U.S. If either of you is already married in the U.S. or in another country, you must terminate that current marriage first. Be sure you have legal documents showing termination of any prior marriage.
- If the country in which the marriage occurred does not recognize divorce, do not despair. The U.S. recognizes a U.S. divorce, even if the marriage occurred in another country that does not recognize divorce. You could arrange to be legally divorced in the U.S., and thus free to marry in the U.S. However, that divorce will probably have no effect on the earlier marriage in a "no divorce" country. That means that you could legally be married to the earlier spouse in the other country and the new spouse in the U.S. You may also be violating polygamy laws in the other country.
- If your country or culture practices infant or child marriage, and you are a party to such a marriage, you need to assess whether that marriage is recognized in the U.S.
- If your country or the U.S. jurisdiction in which you marry recognizes same sex marriages, that marriage will be recognized for immigration petition purposes, even if the marriage is not recgonized in the US jurisdiction where you live
You can see how things could get very complicated. We strongly recommend that you discuss all of these prior marriage relationships with your immigration lawyer to avoid future unhappy surprises.
Second – old enough to marry.You must be old enough to marry in the jurisdiction where you plan to be married. Different states have different lower age limits. For example, in NC, anyone under 18 years old must have special permission to marry. If either of you is under the age of 21, check the rules for the state in which you plan to marry.
Third – licensed to marry. You must obtain a marriage license from the jurisdiction in which the marriage ceremony will occur, not necessarily the place where you live. In North Carolina, marriage licenses are issued at the county level, but are valid throughout the state. You could get a license in one county and be married in another county, but the marriage would be recorded by the Register of Deeds in the county that issued the license. A marriage license issued in one state is not generally valid for a marriage ceremony in another state. Each state has its own rules.
If you own houses, land, businesses, and so on, check with a lawyer regarding which property rights may convey to the spouse at marriage. Different states have different rules. Some couples choose to sign prenuptial (before marriage) agreements regarding property, financial holdings, and so on. While people generally do not expect to be divorced, life is uncertain, and dealing with these issues now can save difficulty in the future.
Fourth – recognized official to perform the ceremony. The marriage must be performed by someone authorized and recognized by the state to perform marriages. You may have either a civil or a religious ceremony, or both, in almost any environment you choose, but for the marriage to be legal for immigration purposes, it must be performed by someone legally authorized to do so.
- In general all U.S. states recognize religious leaders who normally perform such functions for their religious groups. If in doubt, ask the religious representative who is going to perform your marriage whether he/she is authorized to do that. The religious freedom guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution means that many religious groups exist in the U.S., each with a right to establish the terms under which it will perform marriages. Some groups require you to be a member of their group for you to be married in their house of worship or by their religious leader. Other groups will allow persons who are not their members to use their buildings, and their religious leaders will perform the ceremonies. Some groups may require you to undergo a special marriage or religious training program prior to marriage. Representatives of religious groups will usually accommodate the wishes of the bride and groom as to time and location of the ceremony. All of this is optional for you. You are not required to have a religious ceremony.A civil (nonreligious) marriage can be performed by a government official. Government officials will usually only do the ceremonies at the government offices during usual business hours, as this is their job. In some states, though not in Pennsylvania, a Notary Public can perform a marriage. Also a "justice of the peace," made famous in so many Hollywood films, can perform marriages in some states.
- The only difference between a religious marriage and a civil marriage is personal preference. Some people just want to get the legal stuff done so that they can file immigration papers. Others want to celebrate the event with friends and family. Some people choose to have a quiet civil ceremony to be able to begin the immigration process, and then have the larger religious or social event later. Either marriage is legal for visa and immigration purposes.